10

 

Pamela Rose Toyugan

 

 

Photo courtesy of frankleeannoyed.blogspot.com

 

It was simpler then.

 

I liked you and you liked me.

That was all that mattered.

I showed you how I felt.

I was not very quick in saying things.

I haven’t changed. 

My tongue still refuses to weave the words my head has spun.

 

You told me how you felt.

You spoke in metaphors, but my heart understood.

You said it like it was the only true thing in the world,

Like everyone was listening.

You said it with a smile.

Then you blushed.

 

It is a little different now.

 

I liked you and you liked me.

We were ten then.

That doesn’t matter now.

I tell the world how I feel now,

But I am still not very quick in saying things.

My hand writes the words that my tongue still refuses to say.

 

You told her how you felt.

You didn’t speak in metaphors.  It was clear.

You said it because it was true even if nobody else was listening.

You said it with a tear,

A promise that you will be hers until the end of your days.

She blushed.

 

That’s what matters now.

That is what’s true.

 

It has been too long.

 

You probably don’t remember.

And I refuse to forget.

Those words are special

And words don’t lose their meanings.

Let me hold on to those words.

And when metaphors seize my heart again,

I will forget.

 

I will forget.

Drowned Dry

Marciano Brin Cadalin

 

Marciano describes himself as a crappy scribbler. His choice of words is triggered by hummingbirds. His write ups are sporadically melancholic, and may appear playful at times.

 

Marciano, has never been tamed in the expression of literary attempts, in fact he secluded his manuscripts in a tiny private finger-locked vault. The first time he will try to write outside his pen's premises - today.

Marciano's first attempt:

This poem gives the painful meaning of the irony of being wet amidst dry land and feeling dry as you're submerged under a freezing plasma. This is as my expression of my innermost struggle. Frustrating as it may seem, it's killing yourself for something you're not willing to fight for.

Watching the river flow, it floods my shadow.
It reaches my door and drips through my window.
 
As I catch my breath it intensifies my confusion.
Here I see myself floating, drenching in emotion.
 
I am seeing random thoughts flying like humming bees.
Sound stings my heart that brought me to my knees.
 
I want to stand strong on this crossroad of flooded fate.
Wet and still chilling I am reaching now through that gate.
 
Saving my purpose and doubting if it could ever happen.
I've let the river flow then flood me and failed to get it dampened.
 
Questions of worth collide and scratch my back of doubt.
Answers of those questions I've never dared to shout out.
 
Catching another breath to fill my lungs by sudden gasp.
My brain demands beyond the thoughts I could ever grasp.
 
Confusion and despair filled my bloodstream of thought.
I am drowning dry, and losing the fight I've never fought.
 

Caravaggio

Pipes Clavano

Pipes is a lover expletives, sarcasm, and eye- candies. He’s insatiable when it comes to vanilla ice cream, dark chocolate, pizza, and fries. He's not a fan of reptiles. And he loves Brown- outs.
The poem below was written for a man he was with during a time in his life when he allowed people to undermine his principles in exchange for acceptance. He was also into Caravaggio’s paintings during this period.

Michelangelo Caravaggio, “San Giovanni Battista”, 1603-04 ca., Olio su tela, 94 x 131 cm, Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica a Palazzo Corsini, Roma (http://caravaggismo.wordpress.com)

You swept me on my knees
Had my mouth drooling for
Peach
In your dark room was a lamp
Which glows neon
Once the fairies start to dance
I don’t move unless
You shake me
I don’t drink unless
It’s your poison

You dip me into the wine
Tangy like your blood
Take off your shirt
Untie your faith
Paint my wall with sin and
A little more of what girls cannot offer
When you raise your brush
My insides scream
“Let it be as dark as cream!”

And, yes, chiaroscuro
Bends itself for you
It bends so well I am afraid
I might want to bend
That way too
Do your feet truly fit my shoes
Or do you just pretend so I’d remain
Stashed in your drawer with brushes and pens?

When you dart your tip on my canvas
What does it say about colors?
Palettes, shades, tones, hues  
Do they make you cringe?
But you do dull so well
I cannot complain, so I shut my mouth
And let your ignorant colors stain

Lost

Juya Moreno

Photo from www.cigarettesdelights.blog.com

For all the untold stories,
Or the never ending rhymes.
For all the moans I gave,
And the kisses I broke,
And the hearts that were never mine.
For the one love that seems surreal,
And the one night that never lasted,
As much as I wanted.
For all the tears that I wept,
And the smiles I wasted,
Or the laughters I faked.
For all the good things in life,
Beer, sex, cigars,
And the bad things,
Friends, lovers, jobs.
For the guys I have met,
I have laid,
I have killed.
And to the bars,
That I stumbled,
And grappled young men.
For all what is now left within me,
And what keeps me alive.
The one love,
And the one night,
That never was forgotten,
Even the taste of his sweat,
Or the contours of his manly figure.
This is for the man I never told,
How much my soul yearned,
For the lost love,
And the passion we made,
On my old rickety bed.
For until this day,
And every midnight,
I wait,
Naked.

Forgive and Forget

Pamela Rose Toyugan

Pam was one of the founders of The United Literary Advocates (2004- 2005,) a group formed by Literature Majors at Holy Name University which unfortunately died almost as soon as it's founders graduated. She used to carry post its at school and had a tongue piercing which was not very common at that time. 

Below is Pam's first contribution to The Mamangahagay.

We've been through this.

Do you remember how hard it was?

We got hurt.

I thought it was over.

But every time I pick on the scars

They still bleed.

I try to heal.

Do you know how I do it?

Well, I try not to think about it.

Forget that it even happened.

I put it behind me.

That's where it should be.

I try to focus on what's good now.

Do you know why I try?

It is the only way I can hope.

I hope that we'll be closer.

I hope that we'll be better.

I hope that we'll be stronger.

But I won't deny that I still cry.

Do you know why I still do?

I cry because you are unhappy.

You got hurt and you don't have scars.

The wounds are still open.

They're still bleeding. They still hurt you.

I know why they still hurt you.

Do you want to know why?

I'll tell you even if you don't want me to.

It's because you allow them.

You let them consume all the goodness in you.

You let the past catch up.

But we've been through this.

Do you remember how hurt we were?

The pain changed us completely.

But it didn't change the fact 

That there is an invisible chain

Connecting us. Saving us.

We'll get through this.

Do you want to get through this?

I know I want to.

I want to do it with you.

We just have to get through this together.

Just forgive me, please.

June 17- July 16

Theme: Frustrations

Poetry and I

Davey Ross Musong

When I think of poetry, I think of a precious gem,
Teasing me from a place so high and too far for me to reach.
It's an uphill climb,
A foggy mountain top
Which chokes me as I raise a foot
And move towards it.
Veins in my eyes get visibly bold,
Glowing like neon lights in downtown whorehouses
And on otherwise dark alleys with dancing and flying candy wrappers,
Flattened cigarette butts,
Corners that reek of the smell of old and dried urine.
Places, I think, you'd cringe even at the thought of visiting alone.
And those veins, they're lights that grow bigger and bigger
And then burst.
Blood splatters
And flows like lava from the angry volcanoes
which are my eyes,
I'm blinded.
I can't see my paper
Nor feel the presence of my pen.

It's an uphill climb
Every word, seems to give more strength
To that hand that pulls me down
Tightens it's grip in every attempt to conceive
A line that contains both truth and beauty at the same time.
I haven't gone that far
'Cause I am being pulled down.
My own shadow, my past, pulling me down
As if preparing me to drown
And die from that quicksand below
Where my doubts, my feeling of hatred towards myself
Are calling me, asking me
Begging me to join them in their misery
After I buried them deep on the ground
Not too long ago.

Quicksand, tomb of my past.
It's filled with thumb- sucking, jack-stones, magazines under the bed, used rubbers,
Crucifixes hidden in the drawer, dusty, untouched rosaries, dried tears on my pillows
Forming dead shadows of that world that exists only in my dreams.

I am being pulled down, blinded and out of breath
My hands, shaking
My feet, groping the floor for the pen
And where it went, after it fell, I don't, anymore, know

So here I am together with the sound of the crickets
And spirits that watch me from afar
Making sounds that seem to celebrate my failure
Snickering at the thought that the art of poetry
Remains distant to me.
I give up.
I can't touch it.
It's a mountain I can't climb.

Mamanghagay Resurrected graces Taboan Writers Festival

Rey Carlo Sajulan

The Taboan 2012 Satellite Activity-Central Visayas in cooperation with Holy Name University and The WORD, the university’s official student publication, held a literary workshop called Taboan: Philippine Writers Festival which was attended by the members of Mamanghagay Resurrected. The members who graced the event were Ms. Everjoy Lynn Moreno, former Managing Editor of The WORD and presently a Law student;  Mrs. Athena Garcia-Vitor, former Literary Editor; Call Center Employee Davey Ross Musong, former News Editor; and former Editor-in-Chief, Sem. Rey Carlo Sajulan. The workshop was held at the HNU-HS Multimedia Center last February 24, 2012. Literary enthusiasts from other schools in the Tagbilaran City were also participated in the said event.

The said event was an umbrella activity sponsored by the National Commission for Culture and Arts (NCCA). It was a whole-day activity graced by the following speakers: Ms. Haidee Emmie K. Palapar, coordinator for NCCA-Central Visayas; Jeremiah Bondoc, President of the BATHALAD Cebu who spoke about the state of Cebuano Literature; Prof. Merlie Alunan, professor emeritus of the University of the Philippines-Tacloban; and a few of our distinguished Boholano writers and poets.

The speakers tackled on the state of Visayan Literature with subtopics on literature in Cebu, Dumaguete and Bohol. The importance of writing in the Cebuano language was upheld and the need for it to be renewed and promoted once more in young, budding writers. The speakers underlay the importance of recent cultural renaissance which the province of Bohol is currently taking and that local writers writing in the local language should be all the more encouraged to showcase their talent.

Mrs. Rosalina Rara-Sarabosing, project coordinator of the said workshop together with the WORDians hosted the event and Mr. Marianito Luspo, Director of the Office of Culture and Arts Development of HNU also gave the opening and closing remarks.

After the workshop, a poetry recital was held which the members of the Mamanghagay Resurrected opted not to attend. Ms. Moreno proceeded to her Law classes while Mrs. Vitor, Mr./ Ms. Musong and Mr. Sajulan proceeded to Bo’s Coffee to officially discuss the organization Mamanghagay Resurrected and its role in the revival of literary output in our present society.

Of Forests and Fairies

Athena Garcia

A dew drops into a pool that litters a forest floor.
A ray of sunshine glitters in the waters.
The leaves shiver before it shakes away the cold.
A flower blooms, ants mind their business
and a bee passes by, then came a butterfly.

A little girl comes with a basket to fill with berries
but she lies down on the moss-covered ground
to dream of fairies.

Her mother calls from the edge of the woods.
The fairies fled and their songs faded;
The light went dim.

The ants went on their business.
A bee and a butterfly were nearby
but there were no fairies
and the basket was empty of berries.

Mga Panumduman Sa Akong Pagka'batan'on

Athena Garcia

Kani- adto,
Kami pa ang gagmatoy
Magduwa'g dakpanay, julinay,
Ug tumba lata sa kadalanan sa Cogon;
Kami ni Laklak, Deo, Wowie...
Ug usahay mo-apil
Si Woody ug si Bolantoy.

Mahinumduman ko ang kalipay
Nga akong mabati
Kun kami mangikyas na gani
Paingon sa baybayon sa Kaingit
Unya dayon ang kakulba
Sa dihang may usa kanamo
Ang nadakin-as, napangus,
Ug naputos sa lumot.

Mahinumdum ko
Nga ang tambal sa panuhot
Mao gayud ang hilot
Ni Boss Intong.

Mahinumdum ko
Sa panagsang trapik
Sa kadalanan
Kon mo-agi na gani
Ang gamhanang dyip ni Hoc Sing,
Sa pagkagubot sa katawhan
Kay diryo na 'sab maugdaw ang Agora,
Og sa mga hungihong
Kung nganong mingtumaw pag usab
Ang bulahang baksan sa merkado's Cogon.

Karon kaning tanan
Kutob na lang intawn sa dumdum
Kay ningpanaw na si anhing Hoc sing,
Og si Ong Guat, og si Ang Hong, og si Teh Sing.

Nahanaw na ang Agora,
Lakip na ang skiesdilimit.
Og kung sa ICM, di ka madakin-as,
Mapangus, ug maputos sa lumot,
May mangikyas pa kaha
Padu'ong sa Kaingit?

Three Poems

Rey Carlo Sajulan

Canticle to the Sea

Deep is calling on deep
in the roar of waters
Your torrents and your waves
Sweep over me, O deep blue sea

On sandy shores I stand
where thine waves crash
Gleefully calling
A song unceasing

The morning sun paving
a glittering path
Upon deep blue waters
Where I destined trod

Thine deep blue waters
Are foreign to me
Wade must I through unknown
Fear gripping my soul

Thine ethereal song
awakens my spirit
A yearning beyond
Flames... a voice within

Plunge! Deeper I go
Where thine waves embellish me
In deep cold waters
My soul one with thee

Now sail must I
through shallow waters
Against thine noisy waves
Unto depths unknown

Deeper, deeper
Thy song calleth me
Thine silver path fading
Darkness rising

Upon endless tranquility
Unchanging mundanity
Thy current takes me deeper
To darker uncertainty

Deep is calling on deep
In the silence of waters
Your torrents and your waves
have ceased, O placid sea

On Azure Waters

The engine roars
and the motorboat
onward propels
on azure waters
it skims
on currents subtle and waves

the roaring engine
fills my ears
yet silence...
a quiet song of the sea
of water splashing
against bamboo beams
A gentle, salty breeze
A wisp upon my cheeks
And coconut trees
on verdant, green isles
A quiet song of life

The engine noise
flashing camera lights
A man smoking
-- a whiff of bad air
Unperturbed, I remain
in this stillness
Silence within

A soul sailing
on azure waters
Placid, serene
It is still
It is still...
amidst subtle beauty
singing a silent song,
whispering to the breeze,
splashing with the foam,
swaying with the waves,
flowing with the sea...

In Papa's Arms

Eyes shut in slumber
mouth slightly open
Oblivious
to the roaring engine
In Papa's arms he sleeps

He leans in deep slumber
slightly crouching for warmth
Unperturbed
with the fluctuating engine
In Papa's arms he sleeps

A loving gaze
A pat on the hip
to keep him asleep
strong arms holding him
gently and dearly
In Papa's arms he sleeps

I sit alone
My eyes yearning for sleep
Once a little boy
Yearning
to sleep in Papa's arms
once more...